Red_Maniac
02-11-2007, 03:53 PM
This fanfic is like a fake/comedy news show, but instead, it's about video games, Power Rangers, etc. It's kinda like "The Colbert Report." To read the other episodes, go to http://z6.invisionfree.com/Cornell_Nation/index.php?showforum=1.
------
Ethan:
TONIGHT! Cassidy is out sick and I’m in charge!
Hasta La Vista
Windows Vista has arrived? But is it a copy of Mac OS X? Yup.
The Naked Time
And [I]The Naked Brothers Band[/b] movie premiered on Nick… again.
CPStar Wars: Episode Ten
And my guests tonight are PRE members CPS and Tendou!
Only 17 days until Operation Overdrive premieres. Prepare to have Bruce Kalish smash all of your hopes and dreams. This is “The Cornell Report!”
http://img101.imageshack.us/img101/794/tcrru2.png
2•9•07
Ethan: Welcome to “The Cornell Report!” Unfortunately, Cassidy is sick, so I’m taking over today. Next month, Power Rangers; Operation Overdrive will premiere, but that’s not the only family premiere.
With so four times the boo-yah! So four times the villains!
OMG! Kim Possible is coming back! It’s so exciting!1
Oh, and did we mention Ashley Tisdale?
Ashley Tisdale: It’s so hard to be me!
Okay, you lost me.
The PlayStation 3 is not doing very well at the moment, and many “analysts” are predicting that things will go horrible for Sony. According to nexgenwars.com Microsoft has sold 10 million 360s, Nintendo has sold 4 million Wiis, and Sony has only sold 1 million PS3s. I bet most Sony fans are now Nintendo or Microsoft fans.
http://img250.imageshack.us/img250/3988/sonywiift6.jpg
That’s because Sony is trying to hard. The Wii commercials were directed by some guy who won an Acardemy Award, or something, and it had two Japanese guys in a cool car. The PS3 commercials had weird babies, Rubik’s Cube, and eggs. I mean most of the commercials didn’t even have gameplay footage. I mean, some guy who doesn’t know anything about video games might watch the commercial and not know what it’s about. And since they had no where else to advertise, they chose to advertise in an Xbox 360 game.
http://img46.imageshack.us/img46/4141/uefaak3.jpg
And who could forget “Ken Kutagari’s SixAxis Steak Sauce?”
http://img230.imageshack.us/img230/1087/sonysaucevi5.jpg
And speaking of advertisements, the Colts beat the Bears in Super Bowl XLI, but everyone only seemed to care about the commercials. Well, this year, the commercials sucked. The majority of them had someone get beaten up. Car collision, ripped chest hair, getting hit in the head with a rock, letting guys with axes and chainsaws in your car, people getting slapped in the face, an assembly line machine dreaming that he commits suicide, a man getting hit by a meteor, and Kevin Federline working in a fast food restraunt.
Now, recently, “Windows Vista” was released, and no one really likes it. Well, Jon Stewart does…since he got it for free. Most people are complaining that Vista is just a ripoff of Mac OS X, but David Pogue from the New York Times tried to prove everyone wrong. Take a look:
Okay, it’s true. Microsoft added little flippy triangles for folder lists like Mac OS X, and both come with a calendar program that has a certain resemblance to iCal, and yes, there is a photo organizing program that sort of smacks like iPhoto-
I hope you’re going somewhere with this.
But you know what, this is all just superficial stuff. I think that all of the complaining that Microsoft is ripping off of Mac OS X is just sour grapes.
Sour…grapes. Interesting.
This is how you find things in Mac OS X. You hit a keystroke, you type in what you’re looking for, and “Spotlight,” as the feature is called, finds all of the files, folders and e-mails messages from the entire system. Well, now they have that in Windows Vista too.
Uh-huh… and how is this not a copy?
Watch again. Apple’s search menu is on the upper right corner of the screen, Microsoft’s search box in one the LOWER LEFT corner of the screen. Not the same thing at all!
That’s…amazing. Please, go on.
Let’s move on! Vista comes with something they call the “Sidebar,” handy little single purpose programs that keep track of weather, stocks, convert currency, and so on. Apple has had a feature very similar to this, but is this really the same thing? I think not. Apple’s little pop up program are called “Widgets.” Microsoft’s are called “Gadgets.” Widgets, Gadgets, NOT THE SAME THING.
You know, he’s right. Microsoft ripped off of the guys who invented gadgets. Go on.
Let me give you another example. For several years, Mac OS X has come with this very cool 3D chess game. In Windows Vista, there’s also a 3D chess game. I know, I know, looks like a total ripoff so far, but consider, on the Macintosh, you can change the material the board is made of. Your choices are marble, wood, metal or grass.
*David makes stupid face*
But on Windows Vista, your choices are marble, wood, or PORCELEIN.
Yup, he’s an idiot. If you have a Mac OS X like me, and you want a Windows Vista…you already have it.
http://img260.imageshack.us/img260/531/achievementaspxkw2.jpg
Moving on.
“Heroes” is starting to be very confusing. If you haven’t seen the latest episode, don’t read this.
Apparently, NATHAN, my least favorite character in “Heroes” is Claire’s REAL FATHER. So Claire’s mother and Nathan had Claire, who was adopted and has an adoptive brother, but Nathan got married an had his own children, but Nathan slept with Niki/Jessica who is married to D.L and had Micah, and Nathan’s brother, Peter had to lie about it, and Peter slept with Simone, who was previously Issac’s girlfriend, who Peter stole his painting powers from, along with Claire, Peter, and Matt, who’s married, but her wife slept with someone else. All we need is to have Hiro sleep with one of the female characters and all of them is somehow related.
Anyway, big news for Power Rangers. According to Ron Wasserman, there will be a Power Rangers animated series. If it’s anything like “Star Trek: The Animated Series,” everything will be recolored Pink, there will only be four rangers, and the missing ranger will be replaced by two completely useless allies and will forever be argued whether it is in continuity or not. But the big question is…what will it be based on? The hideous looking Cat Sentai? Operation Overdrive? I mean, if Kalish and/or Disney is involved, I doubt that it will be original, but if they are involved and try to base it on any of the past seasons…the Power Rangers universe will be screwed up and will explode.
Also, the “Power Rangers: Operation Overdrive” theme song has been revealed. It’s at Jetix.tv incase you want to listen to it…which you shouldn’t. It had horrible lyrics, and a horrible singer. Here are the lyrics:
“Go Rangers Go Rangers, GO! GO! GO!
Go Rangers Go Rangers, GO! GO! GO!
Pow-er Ran-gers, Operation Overdrive!
Pow-er Ran-gers, Operation Overdrive!
Watch five fingers reaching for the sky in five ways,
Five heroes walking through the sun for five days,
Dark forces lurking, leaving evil where they roam
Five Rangers lookin for the same five stones!
Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!
There's treasures to be found, there's some lives to be saved,
Our planet to look after, there's a whole lot of space!
Good vs Evil, we got heroes on the scene,
Power Rangers Overdrive is the number one team!
Pow-er Ran-gers, Operation Overdrive!
Pow-er Ran-gers, Operation Oooh-verdrive!”
Now, I’m happy to see the word “go,” again, but the lyrics make no sense at all. “With five fingers reaching for the sky in five ways?” So, what, are the five rangers reaching for the sky with one finger each? And if they were all in different ways, would one ranger be like, holding up his middle finger? And we have “Five heroes walking through the sun for five days.” Shouldn’t it be sunlight? Otherwise, all of these little kids would think that the rangers were catching on fire and burning to death, or something. And “Five rangers looking for the same five stones.” They seem to have more emphasis on the number 5. What’s going to happen when the Silver Ranger comes? Also, whoever was singing this SUCKED. At first, I didn’t even know that it was a song. I thought that my speaker was broken. I think that whoever sang the Mystic Force theme song was better, and that’s saying something.
Someone claiming to be Monica May posted at RB. Here’s her second post there:
Somebody post a word and I will have a friend take my picture taken while I write it on a chalk board or something. Then I will post the picture for you to see. Wow, shame on you non believers...
Monica
But…no one REALLY doubted that it was you…until you posted that message. So, you’ll post a picture with a message that an RB member requested.
http://www.rangerboard.com/showthread.php?t=100035
Page 2, no picture, page three, no picture. Page 4, no picture. Page 5, still no picture. Page 6, STILL no picture. Page seven, still no response. But wait, she posted in page 8!
Heres a pic of me with a Labou plush toy. Sorry it took so long - I had to get Greg to post it up online on their site for this link thing to work. Enjoy! :)
http://labouthemovie.com/images/me.jpg
I don’t understand how a picture of Monica May with a plush toy proves it. I mean, she could’ve gotten that anywhere. Oh well. We’ll find out soon.
------
Ethan:
TONIGHT! Cassidy is out sick and I’m in charge!
Hasta La Vista
Windows Vista has arrived? But is it a copy of Mac OS X? Yup.
The Naked Time
And [I]The Naked Brothers Band[/b] movie premiered on Nick… again.
CPStar Wars: Episode Ten
And my guests tonight are PRE members CPS and Tendou!
Only 17 days until Operation Overdrive premieres. Prepare to have Bruce Kalish smash all of your hopes and dreams. This is “The Cornell Report!”
http://img101.imageshack.us/img101/794/tcrru2.png
2•9•07
Ethan: Welcome to “The Cornell Report!” Unfortunately, Cassidy is sick, so I’m taking over today. Next month, Power Rangers; Operation Overdrive will premiere, but that’s not the only family premiere.
With so four times the boo-yah! So four times the villains!
OMG! Kim Possible is coming back! It’s so exciting!1
Oh, and did we mention Ashley Tisdale?
Ashley Tisdale: It’s so hard to be me!
Okay, you lost me.
The PlayStation 3 is not doing very well at the moment, and many “analysts” are predicting that things will go horrible for Sony. According to nexgenwars.com Microsoft has sold 10 million 360s, Nintendo has sold 4 million Wiis, and Sony has only sold 1 million PS3s. I bet most Sony fans are now Nintendo or Microsoft fans.
http://img250.imageshack.us/img250/3988/sonywiift6.jpg
That’s because Sony is trying to hard. The Wii commercials were directed by some guy who won an Acardemy Award, or something, and it had two Japanese guys in a cool car. The PS3 commercials had weird babies, Rubik’s Cube, and eggs. I mean most of the commercials didn’t even have gameplay footage. I mean, some guy who doesn’t know anything about video games might watch the commercial and not know what it’s about. And since they had no where else to advertise, they chose to advertise in an Xbox 360 game.
http://img46.imageshack.us/img46/4141/uefaak3.jpg
And who could forget “Ken Kutagari’s SixAxis Steak Sauce?”
http://img230.imageshack.us/img230/1087/sonysaucevi5.jpg
And speaking of advertisements, the Colts beat the Bears in Super Bowl XLI, but everyone only seemed to care about the commercials. Well, this year, the commercials sucked. The majority of them had someone get beaten up. Car collision, ripped chest hair, getting hit in the head with a rock, letting guys with axes and chainsaws in your car, people getting slapped in the face, an assembly line machine dreaming that he commits suicide, a man getting hit by a meteor, and Kevin Federline working in a fast food restraunt.
Now, recently, “Windows Vista” was released, and no one really likes it. Well, Jon Stewart does…since he got it for free. Most people are complaining that Vista is just a ripoff of Mac OS X, but David Pogue from the New York Times tried to prove everyone wrong. Take a look:
Okay, it’s true. Microsoft added little flippy triangles for folder lists like Mac OS X, and both come with a calendar program that has a certain resemblance to iCal, and yes, there is a photo organizing program that sort of smacks like iPhoto-
I hope you’re going somewhere with this.
But you know what, this is all just superficial stuff. I think that all of the complaining that Microsoft is ripping off of Mac OS X is just sour grapes.
Sour…grapes. Interesting.
This is how you find things in Mac OS X. You hit a keystroke, you type in what you’re looking for, and “Spotlight,” as the feature is called, finds all of the files, folders and e-mails messages from the entire system. Well, now they have that in Windows Vista too.
Uh-huh… and how is this not a copy?
Watch again. Apple’s search menu is on the upper right corner of the screen, Microsoft’s search box in one the LOWER LEFT corner of the screen. Not the same thing at all!
That’s…amazing. Please, go on.
Let’s move on! Vista comes with something they call the “Sidebar,” handy little single purpose programs that keep track of weather, stocks, convert currency, and so on. Apple has had a feature very similar to this, but is this really the same thing? I think not. Apple’s little pop up program are called “Widgets.” Microsoft’s are called “Gadgets.” Widgets, Gadgets, NOT THE SAME THING.
You know, he’s right. Microsoft ripped off of the guys who invented gadgets. Go on.
Let me give you another example. For several years, Mac OS X has come with this very cool 3D chess game. In Windows Vista, there’s also a 3D chess game. I know, I know, looks like a total ripoff so far, but consider, on the Macintosh, you can change the material the board is made of. Your choices are marble, wood, metal or grass.
*David makes stupid face*
But on Windows Vista, your choices are marble, wood, or PORCELEIN.
Yup, he’s an idiot. If you have a Mac OS X like me, and you want a Windows Vista…you already have it.
http://img260.imageshack.us/img260/531/achievementaspxkw2.jpg
Moving on.
“Heroes” is starting to be very confusing. If you haven’t seen the latest episode, don’t read this.
Apparently, NATHAN, my least favorite character in “Heroes” is Claire’s REAL FATHER. So Claire’s mother and Nathan had Claire, who was adopted and has an adoptive brother, but Nathan got married an had his own children, but Nathan slept with Niki/Jessica who is married to D.L and had Micah, and Nathan’s brother, Peter had to lie about it, and Peter slept with Simone, who was previously Issac’s girlfriend, who Peter stole his painting powers from, along with Claire, Peter, and Matt, who’s married, but her wife slept with someone else. All we need is to have Hiro sleep with one of the female characters and all of them is somehow related.
Anyway, big news for Power Rangers. According to Ron Wasserman, there will be a Power Rangers animated series. If it’s anything like “Star Trek: The Animated Series,” everything will be recolored Pink, there will only be four rangers, and the missing ranger will be replaced by two completely useless allies and will forever be argued whether it is in continuity or not. But the big question is…what will it be based on? The hideous looking Cat Sentai? Operation Overdrive? I mean, if Kalish and/or Disney is involved, I doubt that it will be original, but if they are involved and try to base it on any of the past seasons…the Power Rangers universe will be screwed up and will explode.
Also, the “Power Rangers: Operation Overdrive” theme song has been revealed. It’s at Jetix.tv incase you want to listen to it…which you shouldn’t. It had horrible lyrics, and a horrible singer. Here are the lyrics:
“Go Rangers Go Rangers, GO! GO! GO!
Go Rangers Go Rangers, GO! GO! GO!
Pow-er Ran-gers, Operation Overdrive!
Pow-er Ran-gers, Operation Overdrive!
Watch five fingers reaching for the sky in five ways,
Five heroes walking through the sun for five days,
Dark forces lurking, leaving evil where they roam
Five Rangers lookin for the same five stones!
Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!
There's treasures to be found, there's some lives to be saved,
Our planet to look after, there's a whole lot of space!
Good vs Evil, we got heroes on the scene,
Power Rangers Overdrive is the number one team!
Pow-er Ran-gers, Operation Overdrive!
Pow-er Ran-gers, Operation Oooh-verdrive!”
Now, I’m happy to see the word “go,” again, but the lyrics make no sense at all. “With five fingers reaching for the sky in five ways?” So, what, are the five rangers reaching for the sky with one finger each? And if they were all in different ways, would one ranger be like, holding up his middle finger? And we have “Five heroes walking through the sun for five days.” Shouldn’t it be sunlight? Otherwise, all of these little kids would think that the rangers were catching on fire and burning to death, or something. And “Five rangers looking for the same five stones.” They seem to have more emphasis on the number 5. What’s going to happen when the Silver Ranger comes? Also, whoever was singing this SUCKED. At first, I didn’t even know that it was a song. I thought that my speaker was broken. I think that whoever sang the Mystic Force theme song was better, and that’s saying something.
Someone claiming to be Monica May posted at RB. Here’s her second post there:
Somebody post a word and I will have a friend take my picture taken while I write it on a chalk board or something. Then I will post the picture for you to see. Wow, shame on you non believers...
Monica
But…no one REALLY doubted that it was you…until you posted that message. So, you’ll post a picture with a message that an RB member requested.
http://www.rangerboard.com/showthread.php?t=100035
Page 2, no picture, page three, no picture. Page 4, no picture. Page 5, still no picture. Page 6, STILL no picture. Page seven, still no response. But wait, she posted in page 8!
Heres a pic of me with a Labou plush toy. Sorry it took so long - I had to get Greg to post it up online on their site for this link thing to work. Enjoy! :)
http://labouthemovie.com/images/me.jpg
I don’t understand how a picture of Monica May with a plush toy proves it. I mean, she could’ve gotten that anywhere. Oh well. We’ll find out soon.